My coaching style

I hold the masuline and the feminine as equally important.

As your coach, I'm committed to you getting the results you want. Over time, I've realized that this means holding the masculine and the feminine as equally important inside of the coaching relationship, and knowing when the presence of one or the other is missing. You may be asking yourself....."What does that mean?!?"
Think of it this way: I really care about you getting in touch with your desire - with what it is that you really, deeply want - across all areas of your life. The thing that lights you up. Not what your parents told you to want, or what society told you to want, or even what the you of 10 years ago told you to want! This is the feminine. It's messy, it's wild, sometimes you can't contain it, and it gives you that inexplicable feeling of excitement in your body.

Your feminine desire needs something to hold it, nurture it, support it and carry it out. I support you to get super specific about your goals and the structures that you'll create to get there. I hold you accountable and I don't stop standing for and reminding you of what you said you wanted. This is the masculine.

 
 

My coaching style

I hold the masuline and the feminine as equally important.

CM Banner Fem.png
As your coach, I'm committed to you getting the results you want. Over time, I've realized that this means holding the masculine and the feminine as equally important inside of the coaching relationship, and knowing when the presence of one or the other is missing. You may be asking yourself....."What does that mean?!?"
Think of it this way: I really care about you getting in touch with your desire - with what it is that you really, deeply want - across all areas of your life. The thing that lights you up. Not what your parents told you to want, or what society told you to want, or even what the you of 10 years ago told you to want! This is the feminine. It's messy, it's wild, sometimes you can't contain it, and it gives you that inexplicable feeling of excitement in your body.

Your feminine desire needs something to hold it, nurture it, support it and carry it out. I support you to get super specific about your goals and the structures that you'll create to get there. I hold you accountable and I don't stop standing for and reminding you of what you said you wanted. This is the masculine.

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the top 10 DESIRED competencies

for Modern Leaders

 

A recent study revealed strong consensus that what people felt was “feminine” they also deemed essential to leading in an increasingly social, interdependent and transparent world. This is why this conversation matters.


 
 

viewed as

viewed as

"feminine"

"masculine"

Masculine Feminine Qualities Life Executive Coaching Cailin McDuff

OK, BACK UP

 

What is “the feminine?”


 
 
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The feminine is not an elusive energy reserved for women.

In fact, this has little to do with gender. The feminine, like the masculine, is energetic - you may not be able to name it, but you can absolutely feel it in a room.

 

Simply put, the feminine is a specific set of innate qualities within both men and women that, when activated, drastically shift how you show up in the world.

 
 
 
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Our current systems and organizations excel at training us in expressing the masculine.

We’re taught to set concrete, measurable goals, to follow action steps to meet them and to label it as “success” when we get there. Then rinse and repeat.

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When the feminine is expressed, you are consistently getting in touch with what you want, so that the steps you take to reach a goal flow from a vision.

You’re going after a future and goals that really matter to you, rather than the ones that are aligned to expectations outside of you - ones that were never yours to begin with.

You change the world by being deeply in tune with yourself, first.

 
 

What is missing is how we experience going after our goals - how we experience our path to creating success. This is the feminine.

Typically we reach a milestone, we arrive there, and then we’re off to immediately chasing the next one. But what if we decided to celebrate the journey we just went on? What if we intentionally made space to acknowledge our successes and the people who supported us to get there?

 
 

What if the journey was pleasurable and fun?

 
 

Why is the distinction so important?

 

The masculine gives access to:

  • [fade] Valuing clarity, directness and facts [/fade]

  • [fade] Having rational conversations about feasibility and resources needed for a vision or goal [/fade]

  • [fade] Holding and supporting all of the things our feminine wants to create [/fade]

  • [fade] Using support structures that are sufficient to create the results we want [/fade]

  • [fade] Influencing others through clear direction, command, and accountability [/fade]

  • [fade] Using logic, reason and cognition to make choices [/fade]

  • [fade] Seeking closure and not taking conflict personally [/fade]

The feminine gives access to:

  • [fade] Expressing vulnerability in relationships[/fade]

  • [fade] Allowing the free flow of ideas without attachment to which ones are viable[/fade]

  • [fade] Hearing and trusting your intuitive mind[/fade]

  • [fade] Looking at challenges as platforms for growth, rather than problems to be fixed[/fade]

  • [fade] Engaging your creativity through a variety of modalities[/fade]

  • [fade] Welcoming a range of emotions in yourself and others[/fade]

  • [fade] Tapping into and trusting intuition to make decisions [/fade]

  • [fade] Nurturing your whole self - mind, body, and spirit [/fade]

 

Why is the distinction so important?

 

The masculine gives access to:

  • Valuing clarity, directness and facts

  • Having rational conversations about feasibility and resources needed for a vision or goal

  • Holding and supporting all of the things our feminine wants to create

  • Using support structures that are sufficient to create the results we want

  • Influencing others through clear direction, command, and accountability

  • Using logic, reason and cognition to make choices

  • Seeking closure and not taking conflict personally

The feminine gives access to:

  • Expressing vulnerability in relationships

  • Allowing the free flow of ideas without attachment to which ones are viable

  • Hearing and trusting your intuitive mind

  • Looking at challenges as platforms for growth, rather than problems to be fixed

  • Engaging your creativity through a variety of modalities

  • Welcoming a range of emotions in yourself and others

  • Tapping into and trusting intuition to make decisions

  • Nurturing your whole self - mind, body, and spirit

VERY common and VERY normal

Objections & Questions

 

 
 

+ I'm a man. Is feminine leadership relevant to my life?

"The feminine” is not something only women have. The qualities of the feminine are in all of us. When we make a seat for feminine qualities and feminine leadership at the table, our experience of what we achieve and create gets to feel good.

+ Feeling good? Ain't nobody got time for that.

There is a common cultural belief that achieving things has to be hard, exhausting and certainly not fun. Consider that's a story we've been telling ourselves about the way success and productivity have to go. If you are willing open your heart (even just a little), you'll find that you can have a different experience going after your goals....one that is likely more pleasurable than the one you are currently having.

+ This all sounds very soft and gushy. Not my style.

Accessing the feminine doesn't mean you're becoming a different person. What we're talking about is bringing all parts of you out to be expressed in the world - your creativity, your sensitivity, and your vision. The parts of you that you have approval for... and the parts of you that you may not have approval for just yet. If you are willing to tap into your feminine, the world will likely get access to the more fully expressed you, and that's a win all around.

Not to mention, approval accelerates the transformation process. When you say to someone (or yourself), "I see you fully", you create the conditions for them (or you) to grow and expand.

+ There's no way this would fly in corporate.

I hear you. And, as a leader, you have the power to create a culture you want want to work in. What is missing in your workplace culture right now? Chances are, it has to do with the feminine.

+ The men in my workplace would never go for this.

Men have feelings too and want to feel good, but social conditioning tells them they need to be "tough" and hide their emotions. The more willing we are to call everyone (men and women) into honest conversations about what's going on inside, the more expressed and seen everyone gets to be!

That's a workplace I'm interested in.

 

More questions?